what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize