what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
