This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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