why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
