I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
