at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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