If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
