All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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