I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Randomize
