This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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