So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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