hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
