that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
