I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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