no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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