in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You dont lie about slip and slides
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
