I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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