Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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