this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
