You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Im part way to drunk.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
