I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
