I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
