Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
