i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
