why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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