I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
