After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
