Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
