He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
