i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
