He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
