And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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