We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
