But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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