Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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