My hand turned me down
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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