I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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