Apparently you make a good broom.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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