shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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