there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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