Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
