so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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