Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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