She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
