no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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