Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
