so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
please don't ironically join a cult
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