He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
