I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
