He is such a slut. More and more my type.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
