Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
