im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
