He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
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