I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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