My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize