Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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