we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize