It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
