How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
