First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
