escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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