wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
