Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize