You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
