so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
