just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
