Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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