We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Your dad touched me again.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
