why didn't you poke me back
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
