I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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