I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
should my penis look like a turkey
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
