when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize