You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Buhtt sex?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
