Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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