as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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