Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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